This hilarious essay, written by Terry Bisson, appeared in OMNI magazine, April 1991 and was an 1991 Nebula nominee.
Update
Here’s a short film by Stephan O’ Regan based on the Bisson essay.
Category Archives: Humor
Ask Calvin’s Dad
Calvin’s dad answering questions, quoted from various Calvin and Hobbes books by Bill Watterson.
Q. Why does the sun set?
A. It’s because hot air rises. The sun’s hot in the middle of the day, so it rises high in the sky. In the evening then, it cools down and sets.
Q. Why does it go from east to west?
A. Solar wind.
Zefrank on Friendster
Zefrank’s hiliarious take on Friendster and other social networking services. Quicktime required. If you don’t know Zefrank, a few years ago he came out with the Pre-Date Confidence Builder. This guy should be doing stand-up somewhere. Hat tip to Peter Hirshberg.
The Meatrix
Matrix lovers check out “The Meatrix”, a parody that pokes fun at the movie while illustrating issues on ethical treatment of animals. Moophius gives Leo the red pill and the real world is revealed.
Kitty Aikido
If Cars Ran Like Software
I don’t know if this is true or not, but it makes for a funny story…
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, “If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.”
In response to Bill’s comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.